I sat down next to her and asked how her exercises were going. I was her Physical Therapist as she was weak after having surgery. I was working with her to build her strength back to allow her to return to activities that brought her joy in life.

“They are ok” she responded yet I could feel that they were not.

“Tell me more about why they are just ok” I asked for clarity.

“Can’t you just do them for me?” she softly asked back.

“What do you mean?” I asked, trying to understand where she was coming from.

“Can’t you just move my legs for me? So that my legs will get stronger.” She smiled sweetly at me.

I smiled back at her “No, I can’t. You see, it doesn’t work like that. If you want to build strength it needs to come from within you. Your body must do the work to build strength. Me doing the work for you will not actually create additional muscle strength. I literally can’t build the strength for you. I can give you the tools, I can support and encourage you, I can correct your form, I can check on you but I can’t do it for you.” I explained it to her.

“I see” she said as she started doing the exercises.

Years later, in my spiritual coaching business I got asked the same question only it was about opening to mediumship. My answer was unchanged. It doesn’t matter if we are talking about the human body, the mind, or the spirit. I can’t do it for you. You are the only one who will do the work for yourself. I will sit next to you. I will encourage you. I will give you tools. I will give you clarity. I will help you find community. But, I can’t do it for you. You hold the keys to your reality.