This is my truth, which doesn’t need to be yours. My truth is that before I got here for this human experience there were certain things that I agreed to experience. Things that would help me to heal, things that would help me to grow and expand, things that would help me with my soul's purpose.
One of those things was sexual abuse. I speak openly and freely about it at workshops and classes. It is part of my human experience and I know without a doubt that it helped me become who I am today and who I am meant to be.
Sometimes, I think about my parents and I wonder to myself. “How the fuck did you sign up to parent this?”
No, really. It is one thing to experience sexual abuse yourself. The healing process and the integration process are real work. But when I think about my parents it makes my heart hurt. You see, I was always going to experience sexual abuse during my human expereience. I signed up for it. I agreed to it. I asked for it. I wanted to heal from it. I wanted to grow through it. I wanted to integrate it and help other people integrate their own abuse. I can wrap my brain around that solidly and easily, it makes sense to me. I remember the day that I started thinking about my parents. When they agreed to parent me, they agreed to support me through sexual abuse. But, when I really stopped and thought about them and put myself in their shoes it took my breath away. I know, without a question, that they carry shame and guilt around my abuse. As a mom, I get that. However, there was NOTHING that they would ever do to prevent it because I agreed to it before I started my human experience. It was part of my life path so they couldn’t ever prevent it, yet the human in them blames themselves.
So, to all of the parents and grandparents who agreed to support a child through sexual abuse…… you are one serious badass!
