I rolled over onto my right side in bed, pulled my pillow over my shoulder and tucked it under my ear. There is a very specific way that you must position your pillow when you are not ready for the day yet. My eyes were not open and I was already bargaining with the universe for a moment or two more of sleep.

This wasn’t like me. I normally wake ready to face the day and the world. I normally wake feeling refreshed and ready for whatever life has to offer me. Not today, not at this moment.

The more that I lay there pretending my day hadn’t started, the more I recognized that there was something I was avoiding. There was something that I wasn’t ready to face. There was something that I didn’t want to address. I jumped out of bed, recognizing what I was avoiding.

I remember a day when I didn’t self reflect like this. I wouldn’t be mindful of how I was meeting my day and look for insight into that presentation. I remember a day when I wasn’t purposeful with my life. I remember a day when I wasn’t present with my day. I remember a day when life happened to me. Not today, not now, not any longer. Now, I can’t imagine thinking that life was happening TO me.