She pretended that she was happy.

She pretended that she wanted to smile.

She pretended that she wanted to laugh.

She pretended that she was listening.

She pretended that she was present and in the moment.

She pretended that she wanted his hand on her back.

She pretended that she wanted to lean over and kiss him.

She pretended that she wanted to be sitting at the dinner table asking about their day.

She pretended that she wanted to be packing their lunches.

She pretended that she wanted to go to work.

She pretended that she wanted to pick meals for the week.

She pretended that she wasn’t exhausted.

She pretended that she didn’t cry in the shower.

She pretended that she didn’t reach for wine to cover the sadness boiling up in her soul.

She pretended that she was alive.

But, what if she stopped pretending?

What if she honored her emotions?

What if she gave herself permission to be?

What if she expressed herself?

What if she made the choice to start healing?

What if she made the choice to live?