“Hey baby, how was your day,” I asked as he hopped into the back seat of the car.
“Not that great,” he responded as he furrowed his brow.
I looked back at him in the rearview mirror. “What happened, love” I asked.
“I had to do some testing today and it made me mad” he said, with audible anger in his voice.
“What about it made you mad?”
“Well, the woman doing the testing only wanted me to look at the photo for a short time and then answer questions about the photo. I told her I wanted more time to look at it, but she wouldn’t give me more time. She said that there were rules and that she had to follow the rules of the test, he explained.
“I can see how that would be frustrating,” I said, validating his intense emotions. I opened my mouth to ask for more information.
“You know what made me mad?” he asked.
“Tell me baby” I gently said back.
“The part that made me mad is that she thinks that she doesn’t have a choice. She is acting like she doesn’t actually have a choice. Just because there is a rule doesn’t mean that you have to follow it, Mom. We always have a choice to follow or not follow the rule. Mom, she has a choice, and she acted like she didn’t have one,” he explained.
I tried not to laugh at my 9-year-old. “Well, it is true; we all have a choice, but she may not feel like she had a choice, and she may not be able to see that as clearly as you can, babe. Also, she may not have perceived that the benefits of breaking the rule outweighed the risk of following it.”
“Yeah, well it made me mad” he said as he looked out the window.
“I understand that. Just remember that no test defines you, babe” I said as I glanced at him in the rearview mirror.
“Mom, I know that” he said quietly as he continued to stare out the window.
“So, what happened?” I asked.
“Well, she made a choice to follow the rule and I made a choice not to” he said.
I left a silence waiting to hear more.
“I sat at the desk and refused to do any more of the test,” he said with defiance in his voice.
I shook my head and couldn’t help but smile as I looked at him in the rearview mirror. He was a force to be reckoned with, he always had been. He had paved his own pathway in life since the moment I had conceived him. He meets life with intensity and I love that about it. Albeit, it isn’t always easy to parent.
“Well, there may be consequences for that choice” I said as his eyes caught mine in the mirror.
He smiled, and as his dimple flashed on his cheek, he said, “I know, mama,” and went back to looking out the window, this time with a smile.