She sent me five texts in a row, which wasn’t uncommon for her. Some people tend to write one long text while others send multiple short ones; she was someone who always sent multiple short ones.
It was a Saturday night, and I was with my family. I had seen that some text came in. However, I had not opened the text because I was in the middle of a family dinner and wanted to be present with my family.
Hours later, I was finishing my nighttime routine and getting ready for bed. My phone was on silent, sitting on the headboard. I heard a buzz and knew that someone had texted me, but I wasn’t in a space where I wanted to check my phone. My nervous system was calm, my mind was calm, my body was calm and I wasn’t interested in taking the chance of changing that right before going to sleep.
The next morning, I woke up and started my morning practice. Years ago, I learned that if I do not stick to a very strict psychic hygiene routine, I get sick, and as a result, I am unwilling to waiver on my morning or evening practice. When I made the choice to work full-time in my business, I also made the choice to be unwavering about protecting my own energy.
When I finished my morning routine, I picked up my phone and found eight more text messages from her, asking if I had gotten her prior text. In total, between 7 pm and 7 am, she had sent me 13 text messages. I stood staring at my phone and shook my head. I wondered if she treated everyone like that. I had told her in the past that when I am unable to answer, I won’t answer. And when I am able to answer, I will. I had been clear about this with her, as I am with everyone, because I don’t enjoy our cultural norm that people must respond to texts or phone calls right then. I think that it is unhealthy. Sometimes, we don’t want to respond right away. Sometimes, we are being present with something or someone in our lives, and we don’t want to be pulled out of that. I don’t believe that we need a reason to take time for ourselves, and I don’t think that we owe people an explanation of why we don’t respond right away.