I was wildly uncomfortable and I wasn’t looking to be comfortable anytime soon. I wanted to lean into this discomfort and really look at it. I knew that as uncomfortable as I was, it wouldn’t last forever and it also wouldn’t kill me. There was nothing that I would look at that would be more than I could manage.

It is such a gift to experience yourself without walls. To look another person in the eyes with all your light and to let theirs radiate right back into you.

When I got all done having my fit, I allowed his feedback to fully wash over me. He was telling me how to be a better version of myself. The amount of preparation that I had done was irrelevant, the situation still remained the same, I needed to do more and it doesn’t matter what anyone else needs

I sat at a table, sipping coffee and chatting with him. We had only met in person a couple of times but I felt like I had known him forever. He was good friends with one of my spirit guides and it was easy for me to understand why. He was gentle, real and deep. He was safe and conversation between us was easy.

I wanted the discomfort to be physical, I really did, but I knew that it was energetic. I knew that there was nothing mechanical that had happened to my back and that there was no reason for this pain which meant that it was energy so all of the stretching and moving and heat would never work.

I slid my legs across the sheets as I climbed into bed. It was one of my most favorite sensations, my skin against clean sheets. I have always loved to slide my legs back and forth and wiggle in the freshly washed and made bed.

I sat, folded in a chair, looking at her only 2 feet away. She was pouring her heart out to me. She has been in spiritual coaching for months and making huge progress. She was actively allowing her uniqueness to lead and allowing herself to be the person whom she had always been before limiting thoughts were put on her.

Those words move through me in the most intense way each time the song crosses my reality. Eyes open or eyes closed. Dancing or in complete stillness. Day or night. Early morning or mid-day. Winter or summer. Solidly grounded or solidly in spirit. It doesn’t seem to matter. When those words meet me, they move through me. They wash over me. They penetrate my soul. 

My mind couldn’t understand the words or the lessons but the song wasn’t for my mind so it didn’t matter. My body understood, my heart understood, my soul understood. My mind stepped aside and allowed the medicine of the song to reach every other part of me.

As my body began to return to a state of peace the lesson landed so deeply in me that it felt like being struck by lightning. Why was I listening to someone else to find my own flow? The way the universe works through me is unique to me.  Looking at the way that the universe works through someone else can’t and won’t help me.