I rolled over onto my stomach and tucked my arms under my chest. It is the position that I get into when I want to be alone with myself and work on something that feels unsafe to me, the places in me that feel exposed, vulnerable and raw. My body assumes this position without a conscious thought, it simply happens.

I was wildly uncomfortable and I wasn’t looking to be comfortable anytime soon. I wanted to lean into this discomfort and really look at it. I knew that as uncomfortable as I was, it wouldn’t last forever and it also wouldn’t kill me. There was nothing that I would look at that would be more than I could manage. I knew that I was well supported by the humans in my life, and by spirit.

I drifted deep into meditation without the need to control where I was going and what I was looking at. As spirit led me into the darkest parts of myself, the places that I tried to deny, some places that I didn’t even know were there, I allowed myself to feel every ounce of discomfort and then I started to ask myself if these stories were serving me. I explored and danced with each of these self-limiting thoughts. I allowed these parts of me to express themselves fully. I listened to their stories and began to slowly challenge these stories. I began to unravel these “truths” that I had been subconsciously living by. I took my power back from these stories.

Almost a week later, I was out walking with my partner. We were chatting about the places that we saw ourselves expanding into during this human experience and I began to realize that the work that I had done in that meditation allowed me to view life differently, it opened windows, maybe it opened doors, maybe it took the side off from the whole building that I had been standing in. Regardless, it took me out of the small boxes that I had placed myself into. I looked over at him and smiled. Getting vulnerable with myself was worth every ounce of discomfort that I had experienced.