We were in a practice session and the teacher of the training course would come in and out of different students practice sessions. You never really knew when she would pop in and offer support and guidance. The old version of me would have been a mix of nervous and excited wondering when she would enter our group and what she would offer for feedback. The new version of me didn’t feel either of those emotions. The new version of me felt really solid and unwavering in the spot that I was in.

She entered the room as we were picking who would facilitate, who would be facilitated and who would observe. I was picked as the person to facilitate and as the session started, I felt a level of calmness flow through my physical body as I settled into myself. I found a ground inside of myself and then started the session. My eyes stayed locked on the person who I was facilitating and my attention stayed focused on her, not on me and not on the teacher who was observing me. My energy stayed out and focused on the woman who I was working with. I allowed my awareness to solidly rest in her energy as we started the session. The place that I was in and the knowledge that I had was exactly where I was meant to be, I didn’t need her to validate that for me, I didn’t need to wonder if she was judging me in any direction, I didn’t need to fear her feedback or my own flow, I simply needed to be exactly who I was in that moment and allow that to be true and right and perfect for that moment.

At the end of the session I realized that I had not shifted my awareness to the teacher or glanced over at her to see what she was thinking during our session. This was huge growth for me. The old version of me would have been anxiously waiting for approval and nervously fearing that I wouldn’t get her validation or approval. I didn’t need it.. I could be really honest with myself and I could feel exactly where I was in the learning process, she didn’t need to tell me that because I already had access to that information, I just needed to be brutally honest with myself, which I could do.