With each piece of wood that I added to the casket I thought about my ego and how it had gotten to what it is today. This came from a place of honesty and compassion. I wasn’t being judgemental about my ego, I was simply being real about it. With a lot of intention, the casket was made with the pieces of my ego. When it was complete I turned and looked at my spirit mentor Ivan. His face lit up as he smiled back at me.
Now, on to make the instrument that would be played at my funeral of my ego where the casket would be lit on fire. I picked a shell to be made into a horn and felt excited to make it. He asked me to pick a second one, which seemed odd and slightly punitive given that he knew that I hated making art. I picked a cow horn, turned into a horn. He suggested the farmer down the road may have a horn for me. I called the farmer who I knew and asked if he had a connection with the farmer that Ivan suggested, which I already knew that he did. I explained that I needed a cow horn, he asked if I needed a set or just a single one. I said that a single one would be perfect but that I would take a set if it was available, knowing that I frequently break things when making art and was worried that I might break it during the creating process.
Days later, the doorbell rang. My partner went to open the door. I peeked out the bedroom window and recognized the truck as my farmer friend. I ran down the stairs and met him at the already open door. My partner was chatting with the farmer and there on the ground was an enormous skull with horns. Absolute shock washed over me. This was far more than a horn and without even thinking about it I already knew that Ivan didn’t want me to make a horn from it. The reason that he asked for a second instrument was that he knew about the skull that had been in the woods by the stone wall and he wanted it. I didn’t need to make 2 instruments, I only needed to make the shell into a horn, but this was a way for him to get the skull.
Later that night I was speaking with my partner. He told me a story that brought the whole experience into completeness and had me laughing. The story went like this:
The other night when I was saying goodnight to our son I picked up the crystal skull on his headboard. I was thinking about when you bought it. You were buying it because you said Ivan wanted one and because skulls just aren’t your thing you made the choice to get a small one, which quickly got snatched up by our son and taken to his room. I was holding the crystal skull in my hand and said “Ivan, I will get you a bigger skull”..............
I guess Ivan can get his own bigger skull.
