“Mom, I want to talk to you” he said with a tone that felt serious.

“Of course, baby. Where do you want to go to talk?” I asked.

“Outside somewhere” he responded.

We walked out into the yard and started slowly walking around the property. I adored that he understood how healing nature was and at the young age of 11 already knew to use it as a tool when he was uncomfortable with something.

“Mom, I don’t want you to be upset. I want you to let me tell you the whole story before you say anything”

“Yes baby” I said while I silently held a calm grounded space for him to express himself.

He went on to tell me that at school he and a group of other children had worked for days to create a fort at the playground with sticks and bark. Some of the popular kids kept coming and taking parts of their fort and laughing at them. Then today, one of them kicked a hole in the fort. My son pushed him and then swore at him. He went on to tell me how he wasn’t proud of himself or his behavior and it wasn’t how he wanted to act.

I wasn’t mad. No part of me was mad. I had questions and we went on to discuss them. He hadn’t gotten in trouble for his behavior, in fact the other student had not even told the teacher about the incident. My son had come in from recess and asked to go speak with the social worker, he independently told on himself and wanted to discuss with her how to control his emotions better. As we walked around the property holding hands and chatting it was hard for me not to smile. Conflict in life is inevitable but the fact that my 11 year old is able to own his behavior solidly enough that he independently told the school and then me and independently was seeking tools to show up differently in the world made my heart want to explode.

He learned the swears from me, I will own that, he also learned the ability to own his behavior from me. Getting to watch my son come into himself and who he is authentically is one of the most beautiful things that I have gotten to experience.