Cream

I was sitting on the couch gazing at the fire and blinking away tears. I looked down at my water bottle resting against my leg as I knew that I needed to be flushing energy from my system with water, but I honestly felt too drained to drink. 

I blinked a couple of more times and then a warm wet tear rolled down my cheek. There was part of me that worried that if I started crying that I wouldn’t be able to stop. I was exhausted, tired to my core and feeling like I had nothing to give.

I wanted support. I wanted comfort. I wanted connection. Kevin was in Massachusetts at a basketball game  and I was alone in the house with my sleeping boys. There was a part of me that wanted to reach for a friend to chat or listen but didn’t even have the energy to tell someone everything that was going on. I recognized that while I wanted to feel supported that I didn’t actually need a person in that moment, I could open myself up to support in another way, recognizing that I am always wildly supported, I just need to see it. I closed my eyes and opened my heart to any support that wanted to come through. The answer came immediately. 

I got up and walked to the kitchen where a wooden box sat on my kitchen table. The wooden box was filled with cream, sprays, hand wash and beautiful decorations. The wooden box was gifted to me from 2 people in my life who I adore. The scent of the soaps and creams were very intentional and demonstrated that these individuals truly saw and understood me. The gift came from an incredibly thoughtful and loving place and I knew that the products inside would offer me the connection, comfort, love, and support that I was looking for. I picked up a bottle of cream and walked back to the couch in front of the fire. I squirted some into my hands and began to rub it into and over my skin recognizing that my body was receiving the thoughtful, caring, loving energy that the cream was gifted to me with. I felt the shift in my energy almost immediately. I pulled a blanket up over my shoulder and closed my eyes and allowed myself to feel held, comforted and supported.