I attended a 3 day intensive workshop with a mentor of mine. My partner and I had signed up as soon as the workshop was advertised and we had anticipated it for months. I loved the container that was created. I felt like there were beautiful mirrors in each of the other participants, something that I could see about myself in them.
As the workshop progressed into the second day I felt a sense of sadness that as soon as a session was done people would jump onto their cell phones, often while still sitting in the circle from the workshop. It made my heart hurt that people couldn’t be more present with the container. In one of the sessions on day 2 cell phones were beeping and buzzing during our session, which pulled me out of the experience. I went from sad to slightly annoyed with the situation. I would watch the participants on their cell phones and wonder what drove them to jump onto a cell phone rather than being in the experience with the other people in the workshop.
As we drove away from the 3 day workshop the cell phone use felt heavy in my heart. I have run many workshops and never allow cell phone use during the workshop. I was having a hard time understanding why the volume of cell phone use was allowed in this one, but I also recognized that the level of attention that I was giving it meant that there was something deeper there for me to look at and be with.
A week after the workshop we had an integration call with people from the workshop. On the call, we were asked if there was anything that we would change or any feedback for growth and I mentioned the cell phone use. The facilitator of the workshop agreed and spoke about it further. As he spoke, I understood the missing piece about why it was triggering for me. It wasn’t anything that he said that brought this clarity, it was simply the ground that he held for me to look at it. I realized that I was still receiving an abundance of downloads and messages from the sessions and that if I had been on my cell I would have missed all of those downloads and healing opportunities. What I was really reacting to was the avoidance of the continued work, that when people distract themselves while still in the space that they are forfeiting a significant portion of the healing opportunities by not allowing themselves to integrate and be open. Only a small portion of the work is done DURING the workshop, the real impact comes from being with yourself when the content is no longer being served to you by another person. It is your ability to be present with yourself and apply what you learned to your life and integrate. It is particularly close to my heart, but it is the integration where I find real healing, otherwise it is just an experience.