We were staying in a hotel for an expo that we were attending. We had a booth and I was speaking. There is always a level of excitement that I hold in my body around attending any event. There is also always an increased level of self awareness heading into these events. Let me explain. A huge part of my job is to be a “hollow bone” when holding space for someone else. My job is to be as clean and clear energetically and emotionally as possible. It is what allows me to hold my energy “out” with the person(s) who I am engaging with rather than “in” with my own emotions. If my energy is “in” feeling my own feelings then I can’t possibly have my awareness “out” with the people who I am engaging with, and where my awareness should be. As I have grown into myself and my purpose it is a concept that has been so clear to me. If I am not actively doing my work, I can’t be supporting other people doing their work. So, naturally heading into big events I become very aware of my own bullshit and my ability to be introspective increases. Somewhere deep inside of me, I know that I have “cleaning” to do which will allow me to be the most “hollow bone” that I can be. 

I started the hotel shower and stepped in. As I started to mix the baking soda into a paste to use as shampoo I remembered that this hotel had water that always left me feeling slippery. I began to rub the baking soda into my hair knowing that no matter how much I washed it out, it would feel like I wasn’t clean. 

He stepped into the shower and kissed my forehead as he reached for soap. I immediately felt my body relax. I hadn’t even realized that I was holding tension until I felt the release. 

“I miss our shower” I said as I rubbed my hair under the water. 

“Oh yeah?” he asked.

“Yeah, no matter how much I try to wash in this shower I already know that I won’t feel clean. It is hard to get the soap off in this hotel” I said.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. The shower pressure isn’t as good as ours” he responded. 

“Could you imagine if we had this shower pressure? Could you imagine if our baseline was to feel slippery all of the time? Could you imagine if we only knew a shower with pressure that didn’t get us clean? We might think that this was just how a shower went”

“I hadn’t ever really thought about that” he said. 

“What if we just moved through life all slippery not realizing that we could actually feel clean” I pondered out loud. 

“Yeah” he said. He learned a long time ago that whatever I was talking about was rarely the thing that I was talking about, I was talking about a larger picture, a zoomed out view of life and he just has to wait for it to fully land for me. 

“Then, one day, we had a shower and realized what it is like to actually feel clean” I said as I felt energy flowing up and more rapidly inside of my body. 

“Yeah” he said and left silence for me to continue to process. We traded spots and I watched him attempting to wash the soap off from his body.

“On the other hand, have you ever been in a shower where the pressure was too intense and while you got clean you also felt sore?” I asked, half talking to him and half talking to myself.

“Yeah, I have had that experience too” he said.

“But this is the thing. The shower pressure that makes me feel clean and not sore will be different from the shower pressure that would make someone else feel clean and not sore. It isn’t that one shower pressure is better than another, it is whatever the pressure YOU need to make you feel clean and confortable and that will be different for everyone. Sure, most people may feel clean with one shower pressure but that won’t work for everyone, there will be a normal bell curve for what works for everyone.”

“Yeah, I guess” he said.

“What if finding the right energy worker, practitioner, healer, therapist or facilitator is only about finding the right shower pressure for you. The exact pressure that allows you to clean the film off from your body without leaving feeling slippery or sore.”

He smiled at me. I didn’t need a response. I had gotten the lesson and we both knew that.