“Can you make the choice? Can you tell me what I should do?” I asked.
“Well, what do you want?” he asked.
“I want you to make a choice for me.” I said bluntly.
There was a pause on the other end of the phone.
“I don’t want to hold any divine masculine energy right now.” I stated clearly, understanding the root of what was happening for me. I had been immersed in deep business planning activities for 2 weeks. My days were filled with structure, stability and production. I am very purposeful when I am standing in divine feminine and masculine. I have the ability to easily flow back and forth between the two but it is with a deep level of intention. During a session I will hold intense divine masculine to get a client into a space where they feel safe enough to look at something hard and vulnerable inside of them and as soon as they are solidly looking at the place inside of them that is difficult I will immediately shift into divine feminine and gently hold them with immense compassion, empathy and gentleness. With my children, I shift between being/allowing and then doing. The flow between the two energies is purposeful and intentional.
“I spent all day in divine masculine. I don’t want to be in charge. I don’t want to make decisions. I don’t want to lead. I want to follow.”
I felt him shift from holding the space of an equal to the space of holding leadership. “Get your coffee and get into bed and write” he said with less gentle energy and more direction.
“Thank you” I said as I felt myself relax into the masculine energy that he was holding for me.
“I got you baby” he said, and he does.