“Mum, can I stay home from school today” he asked.
I was busy putting things into the boys backpacks and wasn’t making eye contact. “Why, what is going on, baby?” I asked back.
“My tummy hurts” he said with caution in his voice.
He has a long history of belly issues that started in kindergarten when he didn’t want to use the bathroom at school.
“Do you just need to use the bathroom baby? When did this start?” I asked.
“No, it just hurts. It has hurt since I got up” he responded with a gentleness that was palpable.
I looked up and made eye contact. “Why don’t you try going to school and then if you don’t feel good I will come and get you” I said, still looking at him.
“Ok” he said nodding his head.
His energy felt off to me so I kept looking at him and then the slightest quiver in his lower lip occurred. I watched him swallow hard and realized that he was fighting tears.
“You know what baby, why don’t you just stay home with me today.” I said, recognizing what he was actually saying to me.
“Thank you mum” he smiled back at me and pulled a blanket over his body on the cozy couch that he was sitting on.
As I walked the both boys up the driveway my heart hurt. I wish that we lived in a world where people didn’t need a physical symptom to stay home from school or work. I wish that we lived in a world where people were comfortable saying “my heart is heavy” or “I have unsettled energy that I need to ground off from me” or “I need time to process my emotions” or “I need to not produce today, I need to rest” or “I am upset but I don’t understand why and I need some time to slow down and sit with myself”. I wish that we lived in a world where we didn’t need to wait until we were sick to honor what we are feeling and what we need.
After the other boys got on the school bus I sat and chatted with my son. We talked about the fact that he can express that he needs an emotional break and it will be just as valid as him expressing that he needs a physical break.
