Excuses. I have hidden behind them effectively for a while now.

You see, I wrote a book about my life as a medium. What it was like to understand my mediumship and the story of how I struggled through the spiritual awakening process. The book tells about my dirty secrets, my struggles, my pain and displays me in a wildly vulnerable way. You wouldn’t know that I wrote a book because I haven’t published it. I haven’t published it because I use this beautiful excuse.

“I told spirit that I wrote the book and that was my half of the deal; and that spirit was in charge of finding the publisher”.

It is a fancy excuse, right?

The real truth is that I am avoiding owning that I am actually really sacred. I am scared of putting my story out into the world. The book is about my life and one of the individuals who was a part of my past knew that I would ultimately write a book. I have lived in a fear based place around my book. I have been so worried that he will sue me for openly telling my story (which includes his story) that I haven’t moved forward with seeking a publisher.

There, I said it. I stopped using excuses and said what I actually meant. I have been scared.

The benefit of saying what you really mean is that you then have the ability to fix it. You can’t fix an excuse. When I stopped using the excuse, I empowered myself to heal. When you see the actual problem, you can heal it but it is hard to heal something that you refuse to see.

So, there I am. Scared. I am working on healing that.