He was trying to talk with me about the flow of the speech that I would be presenting in less than 3 hours. My eyes darted from one place to another and then back to him. I took some deep breaths, recognizing that I was ungrounded. I locked eyes with him as an attempt to stand grounded but it didn’t work. While my eyes stayed locked with him my energy drifted far from my body. I realized that I had been speaking but had paused mid-sentence and now couldn’t remember what I was even speaking about. The level of energetic stimulation in the expo center was high and I was only days out from having one of the largest energetic shifts of my life. My nervous system was hypersensitive and everything was overstimulating.
“I might need to go outside” I said, recognizing that I needed to minimize the volume of energetic and sensory input that I was receiving and needed to be in nature to ground. He nodded and picked up his jacket. I put my laptop under the table and got my jacket also. We left the booth without anyone standing in it and just trusted that the space was sacred and protected.
As we pushed open the heavy door the bright sun and the cold air hit me. I welcomed the silence and the sensation of nature on my body. We started walking through the parking lot taking deep grounding breaths and I expected that I would find a ground, but I didn’t. I couldn’t follow a thought pattern and I couldn’t make sense of something that should have been simple for me. Frustrated with myself I looked at him and said “I need grass” as I walked towards the grass in the median. I was in the middle of a city yet I knew that I needed nature. I flicked off my flip flops and put my bare feet into the grass. I turned so that I was facing the sun and I allowed my energy to ground into the earth below me. I didn’t focus on anything but grounding my energy and then without even trying the flow of the speech came rushing at me like water down a river, it was natural and easy and flowed freely. Within moments of standing on the grass I had the speech locked into my energy field and felt like a different person. He smiled at me, knowing me almost as well as I knew myself. He realized that I was exactly where I needed to be. “Are you ready to go back in?” he asked. I smiled and started walking back towards the expo center feeling fully prepared to speak.