Each week some statement that a client makes to me will “pop” for me. It will stand out as more present than other statements made throughout the week. I don’t chase or seek or look for these statements. I just notice them as they come through my reality and make themselves clearly known.
“I told my wife that you were expensive” he said.
I smiled back at him without responding.
“She told me that you aren’t more expensive than a divorce so to keep seeing you” he laughed as he said the words.
The statements made themselves known. I noticed and honored that the statements were trying to get my attention. Hours later as I was sitting in silence trying to ground myself before meditation the statements came back to me and landed solidly in my heart. I felt spirit come in and float me away from my body. This example of divorce was a simple one to see. Divorce is often expensive and painful. But, why wait until we are threatened by divorce to feel that we need support and help? Why wait until we are in trouble with our partner to seek healing? Why wait until our options are limited to pick ourselves and our healing? Why wait until the consequences are so large? Why aren’t we seeking healing and growth simply because we are worth it? The answer is simple, the very reason that we end up waiting until we are in the direct line of a consequence is often the reason that we need help to begin with. We don’t understand our own worth. We don’t understand what we bring to the world and how valuable our unique display of energy is and so from that place of not understanding our own value we can’t see that we deserve to work on ourselves without a clear “excuse” or “reason” that is undeniable. It is the same reason people start a fight when they want to leave a relationship, it is easier to have a “reason” to go.
But, what if. What if we didn’t wait. What if we didn’t wait until our life was blowing up? What if we just told our partner that we were investing time, money and energy into ourselves to be the best version of us? What if we justified that we can work on ourselves without a “reason” other than we are alive? What if we could avoid all of the conflict and consequences by doing the work before we ever got to that point?
Days later, I was speaking with the wife and she shook her head and said “I told him that there was nothing about your services that are expensive. He has never been willing to heal before and you can’t put a price tag on that. You are not expensive. I spent more on shopping to make myself feel better after one fight than he spent on you in a month. You are not expensive.”
