Don't like you

“Why do you think they don’t like you?” she asked casually. 

“Why do you think that they don’t like me?” I responded. 

“Because you don’t give them credit for where you are today” she responded after a moment of silence. 

I actually didn’t care why they didn’t like me. In fact, I didn’t even realize that they didn’t like me. It wasn’t any of my business and it was something that I hadn’t spent any time thinking about. I didn’t need to busy myself with their opinion of me. I simply needed to know if I liked myself. If I like me, then I don’t need you to like me.

I have enough awareness to realize that we are all just projecting on each other in an attempt to understand ourselves and the human experience more deeply. 

I was more curious about why she wanted to tell me that they didn’t like me than why they didn’t like me. I considered asking her that question. What is the part of you that wants to tell me people don’t like me? But, after about 3 seconds of thinking about it, I decided to stay in my lane. I didn’t need to know and frankly I didn’t need to help mirror that back to her, if she wanted to explore that part of herself, she would. 

Years ago, this conversation would have rocked my world. I would have personalized their dislike for me. I would have been upset and hurt. I would have questioned myself. I would have made contact with both of these people in hopes that I could understand their dislike and change their mind. I would have modified the way that I show up in the world. Then, there was a period of my life where I would have gotten mad and thrown anger all over my day. I would have spit venom. But that isn’t where I am at anymore. 

I went on with the rest of my day as if the conversation never happened and I stayed in my lane, loving the person who I am, despite my imperfections and growth opportunities.