I was standing in line behind her, and I listened to her apologize multiple times to the cashier. She was apologizing for having so many groceries. While her cart was full, it wasn’t that full. I was lost in thought about how funny humans can be. Why do we apologize for things that don’t need an apology? 

She turned and made eye contact with me. I smiled gently at her. 

“Thank you for your patience,” she said. 

I smiled back and said, “of course, it isn’t an issue.”

“I didn’t realize that I was buying the whole store,” she said, and I could feel the discomfort in her seat as if it were a heavy, weighted blanket, making it hard to breathe.

“Isn’t that the point of shopping? I hope that you got everything that you needed,” I responded with a smile. 

“I am sorry,” she said again.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” I said gently, recognizing that she was clearly stuck in some energy that was uncomfortable. 

I was the one who made the choice to go to a grocery store in the middle of a Sunday morning when I knew that a lot of people would be there. I was the one who made the choice to get into the line behind her, knowing full well what she had in her cart. None of that was hers to own, those things were my responsibility to own. I wasn’t sorry. No part of me was sorry or upset. I was having a perfectly fine time. I was enjoying myself while standing and waiting in line. 

I wish that our culture wasn’t like this, I thought to myself. I wish that we didn’t apologize for taking up space and meeting our own needs. I wish that as a culture where we understood that everyone has the right to take up space and that we felt safe doing it. So, I hold that desire in my heart and focus on the places that this pattern shows up inside of me, because it does.