“Well, that is one story” I said to him.

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

“Well, literally what I said. That is ONE story. You told me a story but it is only ONE story and it sounds like you believe that it is the ONLY story.” I said back. 

“It is” he responded. 

“Maybe” I said back. I could tell that he was frustrated with me and I was ok with that. 

“What do you mean?” he asked again. 

“Well, there are only a couple of facts and then the rest of the experience was a story that you told yourself. That is what we do as a human. We tell a story around a small number of facts and that creates an experience for us. You told me ONE story. You created a scenario around a small number of facts and told me the story as if it were the only story. I am suggesting that there may be another story, maybe even 12 other stories.”

We sat staring at each other. I could feel his discomfort as I allowed silence for him to process what I just said to him. 

“So, let’s pull out the facts.” I suggested. 

Together, we pulled out the 3 facts of the story. Now, what if you told me another story around these 3 facts.

“I can’t” he said after a long silence.

“Want me to try a story?” I asked.

“Yes” he said back.

I told a story to him around those facts. He squinted his eyes at me. 

“Want me to try another story?” I asked.

“Ok” he responded.

I went on to tell him 3 other stories. We spoke about how those stories made him feel. Then, I asked which story he liked better. Which one felt the best and accurate to him.

“This is blowing my mind” he said to me. 

“I know” I said back softly. I watched a tear roll down his face. 

“I believed that story for so many years and it held me back in so many situations. It held back my whole life and the story that I told myself wasn’t even accurate.”

“I know. But now you have the ability to tell yourself another story, one that serves you better. I didn’t do this for you, you did this and you can do it again and again and again. You can do this in any and every situation that comes up. You can look for patterns in your life and in your stories that you tell yourself.