I held my raspberry tea gently in my hands and adored the way the warm mug felt against my skin early in the morning. I woke a little before 4am and had been meditating for over an hour. I felt grounded and well balanced despite the fact that I had sick children and a boatload of cleaning to get done. I didn’t have an agenda because it was a weekend day and I didn’t have appointments scheduled

I pressed my back hard against the headboard of the bed and realized that I was holding tension in my shoulder. I closed my eyes and brought my attention to them. Why was I holding tension? I asked as I allowed my shoulders to relax down.

The answer was simple, I was shouldering too much. I was supporting too many. I needed to bring my energy back within myself and to my children. I heard the message loud and clear. I then got the choice of honoring the message that I received or ignoring it.

I spent the day on the couch with my children and going for slow walks and making healthy food and snuggling and resting.

In the afternoon I curled up with a blanket and a mug of tea to journal. I realized that I was fighting tears back. I paused and asked myself why. I realized that I was feeling sad for the previous versions of myself who would have felt proud to have pushed through and accomplished everything anyway. I felt sad for the times that I wasn’t gentle with myself. I felt sad for the times that I didn’t make myself a priority. I felt sad for the times that I pushed rather than resting.I held a lot of compassion in my heart for previous versions of me and the way that I showed up in the world, and also felt grateful for continuous and never ending growth.