“When it is meant to happen, it will happen,” I said, speaking about a training that I wanted to go to. 

She turned her head sideways and looked at me. There was an intensity to her stare that caught my attention. I looked back at her, wondering what she was thinking. 

“Well, that is different,” she said.

I didn’t need to ask for clarity. I knew exactly what she was saying to me. I had a long history of chasing whatever I wanted in life. A long history of pushing and forcing and making things happen. I had spent almost all of my life “making” things happen rather than “allowing” them to happen. I had spent almost all my life trying to control everything and everyone rather than releasing, letting go, and surrendering to what was meant to be. 

I laughed and smiled back at her. “Yeah, I know,” I said casually. “I don’t miss the anxiety that I used to live in,” I said, realizing just how much I had changed. 

“It really is amazing to see the change in you,” she said. She knew me well and spent a lot of time with me and had been present for the past phase of my transition into the current version of me. 

“Thank you, it feels good,” I smiled and then looked back towards the ocean. I scrunched my toes in the beach sand as I looked out at the vast ocean and the magnitude of opportunity that it invited me to play with. I felt different. I felt different because I was different. As my gaze softened and I drifted between worlds while staring at the ocean, I became curious about the magick this life had to offer me from the new frequency I stood in. I knew what the life of anxiety and control had offered me, and it had been great. But just think of the possibilities that ease and surrender offered me now.