My intention headed into the workshop was simple, yet I hadn’t been able to accomplish it in other workshops or healing sessions. I had worked on healing sexual trauma in all of the 4 quadrants, mind, heart, body and spirit. I knew that there was still healing required in the body but I simply hadn’t been able to get to whatever the block was. 

I was sitting in meditation after the facilitator of the workshop stopped instructing and I was allowing the lessons to land as deeply as they could in me when I got the strong urge to move my body. I suppressed the urge at first because everyone was being silent and was in meditation doing their own work but the message got louder and louder and louder. I needed to move energy out of my physical body and I needed to do it right then.

Little did I understand, I was getting to the block that I had been missing. I rocked onto my knees in a high kneeling position and started to rock my hips back and forth. For a moment, my eyes stayed open looking to ensure that I wasn’t disrupting other participants only to realize that I literally couldn’t keep them open. They were heavy and hot and begged to be shut, so I listened. I rocked back and forth with eyes closed and then it happened, my body felt like something washed over it bringing me into a level of peace that I had not known before. My body felt free. My body felt light. My body felt like me, only I had forgotten that it used to feel like this. The more that I wiggled and moved the more it felt like home. I wanted more. I wanted so much more. I wanted this freedom to last forever.

As I wiggled all over, it hit me. I had to make the choice to enjoy my body. I had to make the choice to listen to what my body needed above what I thought other people would want or need and it needed to be an active choice. It was simple and I had recorded a meditation almost a month earlier with the exact message, but now I was understanding in so much more deeply. I started to laugh as the irony of it really hit me. It was simple, I GET to enjoy my body, it is a choice and I GET to make the choice.

So, I did. After the workshop ended the freedom in my body and the lesson remained and I stepped more deeply into who I am.