“May I ask you something?” I said as I felt into if he was ready for the question.

“Of course” he responded quickly with a smile. 

“Do you think that somewhere on some level you picked her as your mum?” I asked.

“No” he responded immediately. “I never felt connected to her, ever”.

I paused and felt into him again. I had felt confident that he was ready to have this conversation and the strength in his response made me question it. As I felt into him more, it became clear that he was in fact ready for this conversation and the opportunity to view his reality differently, but that he didn’t fully understand my question.

I nodded and slowly said, “This is my truth, and it doesn’t need to be yours” I say this statement all of the time and I mean it from the deepest part of my soul. People can have wildly different truths and yet still see eye to eye. “My truth is that I am a fragment of the universe, a soul, and I am here having a human experience.”

“Yup” he said back.

“As part of that, I believe that I agreed to experience specific things so that I could learn specific lessons, heal and grow.”

“Yup” he nodded at me and smiled.

“So, from that lens I would wonder if you picked your mother to help you learn a specific lesson.”

He stared silently at me and I knew that he was deeply processing what I was saying.

“If I heard you correctly. You were saying that one of the lessons that you were here to learn is how to allow yourself to be loved deeply by your wife. To love yourself so intensely that you allow her to fully love you and you allow her into your world completely. So, if you had a mother who loved you intensely and nurtured you and you felt connected, loved and supported by her, do you think that you would have had to really work at that lesson?”

He stared back at me with huge eyes in silence and I allowed a moment of silence. I had been working with him for months now. This was the first time that I had attempted to zoom him all of the way out like this. I watched him as he rapidly processed what I had just said to him.

“That doesn’t have to be true for you. It is simply something to contemplate and sit with” I said.

“Holy shit” he said back to me, eyes wide open, not blinking.

I smiled at him and felt into where he was at with this information.

“I fucking picked my mother.” He said.

I left silence, knowing that he was still processing.

“That feels different” he said.

“Different how?” I asked.

“Better” he responded in a soft tone. 

We went on to have further discussion from this zoomed out spot and I brought him back into the human space and then back out to the universe multiple times during the conversation to help him process everything that we were exploring together.