I can find a state of flow easily in my mind and in my soul. Allowing that flow to drop down into my body has proven to be difficult for me. I can ground into my body but certainly not in a state of flow. Whenever I ground into my body I have carried judgement and attached emotions. It is almost as if I am fighting my body.  This was the first time that I dropped down into my body with a state of flow. It was like meeting my body for the first time, only I am 39. I carried no judgement and didn’t attach any emotion as I connected with my body. It wasn’t good, it wasn’t bad, it simply was. From that non-emotional place, I began to find flow. 

My body moved differently because I wasn’t trying to control it. I was allowing it to flow. I was allowing it to be. I was allowing it to demonstrate the energy inside of me. And, with that mindset, my body moved and it moved a lot. For hours my body moved and flowed wherever it needed to go and be. 

I liked it. Actually, I loved it. I had craved it for so long without even knowing what “it” was. I simply knew that there had to be a different way to be with my body. There had to be a different energy to meet my body with everyday. There had to be more. There had to be better. Today, I felt like I found it, I found better, I found more, I found flow. 

When I drifted off to sleep I wondered if I would wake to find my body filled with judgement or flow. As I woke my left foot slid across the sheets and before I could open my eyes I got my answer. Flow, it had carried over. The dark of the night had not taken it from me, how could it? How could the dark of night steal something that is found within? I laughed at myself as I wiggled my body on the soft, smooth sheets and slid to the edge of the bed. Even my feet felt different. They met the floor with a softness and a gentleness that I didn’t recognize. I was changed. I knew it instantly, I was forever changed.