“I can do that” he said.

I paused. I was so used to doing everything for myself that it felt odd to accept this from him. In a split second a whole dialogue played out in my head. I knew full well that this was a trauma response. I could make it pretty, wrap it up with a bow and try to name it something else if I like, but at the end of the day, it is a trauma response. I would love to tell you that it is because I am a strong woman. I am an independent woman. I am a single mom. The reality is that it is a trauma response. Those are bullshit words, so I won’t use them. I will say what the truth really is. My drive to do everything myself is a trauma response. It is a form of self protection that is rooted in being wounded. It is a learned behavior from trauma. I am not going to dress that up or put a bow on it. I am going to let it stand, naked, vulnerable and raw in the middle of the room for everyone to see. It is a trauma response.

“Thank you, I would love that.” I said back. And, just like that, the healing process started. I began to hand someone trust, knowing full well that he could hurt me and moving forward anyway.