He laughed to himself in the back of the car, a real laugh from deep within his soul. I couldn’t help but laugh simply listening to him laughing. 

The GPS was shouting out directions and each time it said the highway that we were on he laughed more, head back, eyes closed, mouth open, belly laughing. I snickered in the front seat, knowing full well what he was laughing about. 

We were headed to a class field trip and in my heart I knew that there was a large chance that it wouldn’t go well for him. He has an anxiety disorder and we were headed to an outdoor ariel adventure course that would require him to override his anxiety. He was globally unaware of how difficult the day would be, but I wasn’t. The ride down made my heart so happy, chatting and laughing with him. 

“John $itch Highway….. Mum, who would name a highway that? That brings me so much happiness” he said between giggles. 

“Baby, it is John FITCH highway” I said back to him as I laughed at his laughter. 

He stopped laughing for a moment and then went right back to laughing as if I had never explained the real name of the highway. The GPS continued to shout out the directions and the name of the highway and he continued to laugh.

As I drove along looking at all of the blooming bushes and trees he started to talk about how beautiful the trees and bushes were, as if he was in my mind. Then I started to reflect about him and the way that he chooses to move through the world. I love it. I love the way he shows up in the world. One of my favorite things is that he enjoys all of the small things and gets genuine joy from the small things in life. It is something that we share and it makes my heart so happy. 

Hours later, he had an anxiety attack up on one of the adventure features and I held his body, clung to a telephone pole and clipped into the harness while he hysterically cried. With his head pressed firmly against my chest I listened to his pain between sobs and tears and tried to remember the drive down with all of the laughter. As we waited for staff to come help he begged me to leave when we got down from the course and I assured him that we would.

As we climbed into the car and I heard him take a deep breath and begin to allow his emotions to calm I fought back tears. We started driving and the GPS started to shout out directions. Almost immediately, he giggled and went back to talking about John $itch Highway and he told me just how happy the highway made him. I pressed my hand against my heart and thanked the universe for making him exactly as he is, loving the small things in life and owning who he is.