“Why do you even look at her social media” I asked in a blunt way.

She giggled and wiggled in her chair displaying her own discomfort with herself. “I don’t know, I guess to torture myself” she said back with a nervous energy in her voice.

“I guess that I don’t understand what you are getting from it or even what you want to be getting from it. Let me ask you something. Do you think that engaging with her energy increases or decreases your vibration level? Do you feel better or worse after looking at her social media posts?” I asked with less bluntness in my voice.  

“I always feel worse” she admitted and bit her lip gently. “I think that she is fake and it frustrates me to see her posting about how much she loves her life when I know that she is actually pretty miserable.”

We had been working on authenticity in our weekly coaching sessions. We had been working on understanding who she is and what she wanted out of this life. I knew that this was an expression of an old pattern of hers that she was healing. She didn’t need to compare herself to others. She didn’t need to be perfect. She didn’t need to portray perfectionism. She just needed to show up authentically and own who she is and the way that she wants to move through the world. 

She laughed again and said “I know, I know, I need to stop looking at her social media, it isn’t healthy and it isn’t helpful.”

A week later she returned proud to report that she had unfollowed the woman and was feeling significantly better about herself when not comparing herself to this woman. She smiled a large teethy grin and asked “aren’t you proud?” which I easily answered yes to and then reminded her that my opinion actually didn’t matter if she was proud.