I sat with eyes closed, clenching the trash can between my legs with both hands and both legs. I pulled my energy deep inside of myself to process the information that I was receiving in meditation. Warm, wet tears ran freely down my face and into the trash can making a “drop” as each individual tear hit the contents of the trash can. My hands shook and it felt like every cell of my body was clenching, bracing for what was to come. With clenched eyes, I reached for a tissue to wipe the snot from my nose. My arms and legs shook as I allowed the energy to leave my body. I knew that if I held the energy in my body that it would make me sick so I allowed it to pass through my body.

I was sitting on a couch in my bedroom, one of the places that I feel the safest. I had created sacred space in my bedroom years earlier and I actively work to maintain and invest in the sacredness of the space that supports and heals me. It is a space where I do some of my deepest spiritual and energetic work for myself.

I took slow deep breaths as my body adjusted to the shock of the message that was being shared with me. I realized that my heels were not even in contact with the floor because my body was bracing so hard. I allowed my shoulders, my legs, my hips to relax and began to ground into myself to find safety. I had learned years ago that I was fully capable of supporting and loving myself through any trauma and change so, I knew that I could handle the implications of these messages. I have a deep understanding that I am safe inside of myself. 

A couple of days later I got the validation of the message that I had received, but I had already made peace with the information. In fact, I didn’t even need the validation.