“Are you cold?” she asked.

“A little” I said.

She pointed at my arms that were crossed across my chest.

“Yeah, I am a little chilly” I said in response to her pointing. 

I tried to uncross my arms only to realize that it was a real struggle, my arms wanted to be across my chest, so I allowed them to be. As I listened to her talking I recognized that I had even pulled my fleece jacket tight across my chest before I had crossed my arms. 

She wasn’t pointing out anything that I didn’t already know but I also wasn’t going to have the open conversation with her that my body was telling me that I needed to protect myself. There was something about her energy that I didn’t enjoy. I often found myself wanting to protect myself from her. It wasn’t that I didn’t like her, I did. There was just something about her energy that felt unsafe, that I needed to protect myself around. Specifically, I didn’t like the sexual energy that she threw at me. It wasn’t an issue THAT she was throwing sexual energy at me, it was the WAY that she was throwing the energy. It felt aggressive and unsafe and my body was telling me that clearly. 

The socially acceptable thing to do would be to uncross my arms and show her that I was open to her, but I didn’t. I honored what my body was telling me. I honored the need to protect myself. I honored my body rather than honoring what would make her more comfortable.