We were lying in bed chatting after meditation, as we do almost every night. We got speaking about balance and balance within our relationship. We spoke through the power struggle that so many couples have and how this grab for power can end many relationships. We spoke about how when there is a power struggle it means that there are different sides, you versus me. When there are different sides then someone always loses and if someone is losing that means that you both lose even if you can’t see it like that at the moment.  When you are on the same team and really mean that, it results in everyone winning because you keep working until you both can agree.

We spoke about past relationships that we both had experienced and how some of them had this power struggle and some didn’t. In the ones with the power struggle the whole relationship was a struggle and completely draining. In relationships where there was no power struggle the relationship was in a state of flow and even when the two individuals agreed that it didn’t fit, there wasn’t this huge fight and struggle. 

I sat silently after our conversation reflecting about past relationships and past versions of myself. I looked at the correlation between self worth and the desire to hold the power in the relationship. I looked at the healing work that I had done and how it impacted the desire to hold power. I looked at each of my partners and how our energies co-created the power dynamic in our relationship. 

One of the many things that I love about him is that he will have these deep conversations and discussions with me. He will contemplate life and energy. He will explore and play with ideas and questions. He will mirror things back to me and hold space for me. As I drifted off to sleep I smiled and thought to myself, why would anyone need power when they can have love like this.