The boys were tucked in bed and I started cleaning up the kitchen. The music was playing lightly from a speaker hanging from the kitchen cupboard. My bare feet moved easily and gently over the hardwood floor as my body moved with the music. 

I picked up plates and bowls and cups and placed them into the dishwasher. I wiped down the countertop and table from the day's energy. I shut a cupboard door and then a second one. I closed the door into the spice cabinet. I gently shut the door to the coffee and nut pantry. Then, I paused. 

Why were all of my doors open? 

I continued picking up and walked towards the laundry room. All along the way I found doors open. I stopped. I really stopped. There was a bigger picture here for me to look at. I stopped what I was doing and took a moment to reflect. It took me almost no time to receive the message. 

I have a history of keeping doors open too long. Staying in relationships too long. Staying in friendships too long. Staying in jobs too long. Staying too long because I am worried about closing the door.

I asked myself, “do you like this about yourself” and the answer was a resounding NO. So, with a fair amount of intention, I closed the cabinet doors in the living room on my way to the laundry room. I didn’t slam it, I don’t need to do that. It was gentle yet firm. I promised myself that I didn’t need to keep doors open on things that were not serving me.