I was spending a week in CA for a training. I had looked forward to the training for months and months, knowing that the workshop and training would push me outside of my comfort zone and teach me a lot about myself. I underestimated what I would learn in the training. I underestimated what I would learn about myself and how I move through the world in the training. The facilitator of the workshop was casual in his approach which allowed me to underestimate him easily. By the end of day 1 I realized that part of the insight about myself that I was getting was only possible for me to see if I underestimate him and that his casual approach was the perfect environment for me to look at ego. Despite having done a lot of work with ego, I also knew that there were more layers there for me to unpack and work on.

After the training and workshops were done for day 1 I went to the ocean and sat on some rocks allowing myself to get lost in the depth and intensity of the ocean. As I slipped out of a mind based place and into spirit I received download after download. I knew that the content of the workshop and training would blow my mind but what I had underestimated was the opportunity for me to explore myself and my deepest beliefs that define me. The training was technical training and looking back I should have been able to realize that nothing in the metaphysical and energy world is just technical, there is always deep introspective work.

As I sat staring out into the ocean, watching the water rise and fall, push and pull, rage and retract I realized that something was shifting in me. When I started to have awareness of the shift I felt the shift stopped and realized that I was pulled back into mind and out of spirit by questioning what the shift was. I lifted my water bottle to my lips and took a sip and as I set the water bottle back onto the rock I allowed myself to drift back into spirit as my gaze softened and my body relaxed.  As I got lost in the waves again I felt the shift happening again, something deep in my core, just below my solar plexus but this time I stayed in spirit, not needing to know what shift was happening in my body and energy body. Then, almost without warning it felt like my body was melting. I felt like a stick of butter being melted in a pan. As I maintained my gaze out across the ocean the sensation continued to intensify and I recognized that I was letting go of ridged energy and thought patterns, I was allowing myself to become more fluid and need less structure in the way that I viewed life and the human experience. 

I sat staring out into the ocean allowing myself to explore this new state of being. This new way of engaging with the world and myself. The more that I explored the more that I understood just how much I had needed that rigid energy and structure to get me where I was today, but also understood that it wasn’t going to serve me in the place that I was going.

My eyes felt heavy and hot and were begging me to close them. As I gently allowed them to close and gave in to my body's request I realized just how much I enjoyed being melted butter as I drifted deeper out into the depths of the ocean called spirit.