I stood washing my hands in the public restroom and looked up in the mirror. Immediately, my awareness went to my eyes. As I stood looking into my own eyes I felt warm energy wash over my body, specifically my shoulders and my chest. I stayed there, locked on my own eyes and allowed myself to feel the sensation washing over my physical body. The more that I brought my awareness into my body and the sensations happening I suddenly noticed that there was a slight contraction in my chest. What originally felt like a delicious sensation slowly shifted into discomfort. Rather than pushing the sensation away, I allowed myself to feel the sensation fully. When I allowed myself to feel it fully, a message snuck up and whispered in my ears, “remember when you wore makeup?” I heard my body ask. 

My awareness floated back into my eyes which I was still staring intensely into. 

It had been more than 2 years since the last time that I had worn mascara. The day that I decided that I was done wearing makeup played out in my imagination and mind. I had been at a shamanic ceremony and leading into the ceremony I had been purging energy from my eyes, my left eye had gotten red, irritated and inflamed. It was the second time that I had experienced this purge of energy as I went into a ceremony. When I paused to ask why I was experiencing this, I had gotten a strong message that my eyes did not want to wear makeup. My eyes wanted to be enough, just as they were. I hadn’t realized that wearing makeup was telling my body that it wasn’t enough, the natural form that it came in somehow wasn’t enough, but as I sat with the message it made so much sense. I began to ask myself, why did I wear mascara? Why did I feel the need to make my eyes different from what they naturally were? Why weren’t my eyes beautiful just as they were? So, I stopped wearing mascara. 

As the memory faded into the background and as I came back to the experience that I was presently in, I felt relief. I felt a calmness in my body. I stood for another moment staring into my own eyes and felt my body recognize that things had shifted. I had shifted. My eyes are enough, just as they are. I didn’t need to change them. I am enough.