Relationship after relationship I searched for the love of my life only to feel frustrated and let down. No matter how amazing the person was, something seemed to always be wrong. I made lists of the qualities of a perfect partner. I spent time and energy manifesting to bring this person into my reality.

I searched for someone who would make me feel safe. 

I searched for someone who would be vulnerable with me and would be willing to have deep conversations about emotions, life, and love. 

I searched for someone who would inspire and motivate me. 

I searched for someone who would play with me and would lead with playful energy.  

I searched for someone who would laugh with me. 

I searched for someone who would be committed and honor our relationship. 

I searched for someone who would grow with me and who would relentlessly seek personal development. 

I searched for someone who would seek balance in all of its various forms. 

I searched for someone who I could trust with the most delicate parts of me.

I searched for someone who wanted to lean into the relationship and a life together.

I searched for someone who loved inner freedom. 

I searched for someone who would show me compassion and empathy. 

I searched for someone who would prioritize family.

I searched for someone who wanted to sink deeply into healing and spirituality.

Then, one day, I realized that I was searching outside of myself for something that could only be found inside of myself. When I genuinely stopped looking for those traits and qualities outside of myself and started honoring and focusing on them inside of myself I realized that I was the love of my life and I had found myself. I realized that finding genuine love inside and for myself is the most powerful kind of love and when I allowed myself to love myself, the urge to find perfection in someone else went away. I had those needs met inside of myself and then I could just love someone else for who they are without trying to make them what I needed. I could just allow them to be them and make a decision about if I wanted to love them for exactly who they were, not for what I needed. I stopped trying to find the perfect lover and instead started to try to understand deeply who someone was. I stopped wanting to change people and simply wanted to understand people. I stopped searching. I stopped looking. I stopped seeking. I started attracting because I knew who I was and I was giving myself what I was wanting someone else to give me. I am the love of my life.