I wanted to be writing but my body begged for rest so I closed the laptop and closed my eyes. I felt the support and comfort that my bed was offering me and realized the tension that I was holding in my shoulders. I took a deep breath in and then out and allowed my body to let go. Slowly, I sank into meditation. 

Why was I holding so much tension in my body? The answer came quickly. I was fighting myself, it was the sensation of shame that I was feeling. I wanted to learn more about it. I was curious about it. I knew, in my mind, that there shouldn’t be associated shame but I couldn’t release it, my body was holding it. My body was teaching me about myself. 

As I drifted into meditation I found myself on the plains in Africa looking at a pack of lions. The lioness had a level of calmness yet fierceness in her eyes. She switched her tail from side to side letting everyone know that even though her body appeared calm, her mind was showing some agitation. I sat silently watching the pack. Suddenly, without warning the lioness lunged with a fierceness that made me physically jump. In a split second she acted from a place of protection. It was natural. It was an instinct. She wasn’t sorry. She wasn’t shameful. She wasn’t stressed about the way others viewed her. She was acting from one of the most natural places that there is. This place of deep essential knowledge. As I grounded back into my body I found a level of peace that I hadn’t known for a long time. A place of peace within myself that I welcomed and promised that I wouldn’t leave again. I realized that now that I knew the path to this place I would be able to find it again if I ever lost my way home.