I could hear him walking towards my room and pulled myself from the dream state that I had been lost in. The door opened quietly and he walked towards the bed. 

“Hi baby” I said softly.

“Mumma, I need you” he said.

I slid from between the warm sheets and blinked my eyes as I tried to wake up. I followed him out of my bedroom and down the hallway towards his room.

“Are you ok baby?” I asked.

“Yes, I just need you” he said as he walked ahead of me.

“Well, you can always get me when you need me” I said back feeling really proud of him.

I had worked really hard with him to not feel like he needed a reason to get me in the middle of the night. For years, he would come up with an excuse if he needed me in the middle of the night which made it hard to understand what he actually needed and what was actually happening for him. Sometimes, he would say “I don’t feel good” or “my leg hurts” when those things weren’t true, he actually felt scared or anxious or unsettled but somehow felt like he needed a “better” reason to come and get me. I had been working hard with him to understand that his emotional needs, even when he couldn’t identify what he was feeling, were just as important as his physical needs. I didn’t want him to create a pattern of needing to have a physical manifestation to feel justified in needing support. I wanted him to understand that his emotions were just as important as his body. Even when he couldn’t identify or process what he was feeling, he still didn’t need a physical reason. I wanted him to know that it was perfectly reasonable to have big emotions and want to be comforted or need support to process what he was feeling. 

“I am really impressed with you” I said. “You did a great job just telling me that you needed me”.

“Thank you mumma” he said back to me as he slid under his sheets and I lay down next to him. 

He closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep. I listened to the sound of his breathing change and decided to stay just a little longer. Before I knew it, he wouldn’t be coming to my bedroom to ask me to comfort him in the middle of the night and while I desperately wanted sleep, I wanted to soak up every second of this experience more.