I was telling her about how we made a rule that the boys needed to eat a vegetable or a fruit as their first food of the day and then as their first food when returning home from school. We did this because it creates an expectation and the boys do not fight us on the expectation, they accept it and even ask for their vegetable or fruit. We have done this for years and I adore the simplicity of it.

“I have heard about all of the issues that you guys have with food” she responded.

I recoiled away from the phone. There was a huge part of me that wanted to ask for clarity. What did she mean by this statement, what issues? Who had she heard this from? As I allowed the space to feel all of my feelings I recognized a couple of things. First, it immediately brought up defensiveness for me and I knew this was based on my own bullshit. I was being defensive because there had been times when I allowed my children to guide nutrition rather than guiding it myself and I didn’t like that phase of my life. I breathed through this knowing and reminded myself that I had made changes, many changes and that I actually liked the place that I was in around food with my children, I didn’t need to be defensive. Her comment made me want to explain myself and my choices but the reality was that I was comfortable with my parenting choices at this point so I actually didn’t need to know what her opinion of my food choices were for my boys. I didn’t need to justify or defend my choices as a mum. I breathed deeply into myself and my choices and allowed the shaking energy to move through me as I owned myself as a mum. Second, it made me wonder who was telling her these things. Deep breath after deep breath allowed me to find a place of ground and centered energy inside of myself. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter who had told her whatever they told her. It didn’t matter because I was comfortable with my choices as a parent, as their mum, as the person who knows them better than anyone else in the world. I didn’t need to know who was saying what and I didn’t need to defend myself.  Deep breathing into myself allowed me to remember who I am and who I chose to be. 

Without response, I moved onto the next topic in our conversation. The truth was, her opinion of the way that I parent is none of my business. She could have any truth that she wanted. I didn’t need to create a story about how she had heard something negative and I didn’t need to justify my choices. What I needed was to be comfortable with who I am and the way that I move through the world and no amount of conversation with her would create those, that needed to come from inside of me. 

We drifted into conversation about something else and I softly smiled as I recognized the growth inside of myself.