My fingers were tightly curled inside of my palms and I held tension in my forearms. My shoulders were up by my ears and my body was leaned forward. Every muscle in my stomach seemed to be contracting as I leaned from side to side trying to avoid the discomfort that I was feeling. My jaw clenched as I rotated my head from side to side. 

“Relax” I heard which brought my awareness to my physical body. For a moment, I almost laughed at myself as I observed myself in full contraction mode. 

I unclenched my jaw, hands, stomach and shoulders. I wasn’t actually as uncomfortable as I may appear to anyone who was watching me. As the tension slowly melted away and my body came into a state of calmness I began to get curious about why I was being so reactive. I began to wonder what I was fighting so intensely. I had given birth to 3 babies without medication but one wouldn’t know it if they were watching me right now. Whatever I was reacting to so intensely wasn’t in the present moment with me, it was energetic, a memory that my body was holding. 

I sat silently allowing myself to process what was happening in my body, knowing that my body is one of the best mentors who I work with.  I learned long ago that my body is much like a tree, it doesn’t speak to me if I try to rush it. The language that my body speaks requires presence which means that I can’t be on a timeline or be in a hurry. As I relaxed into myself and my body I realized that there was so much that my body was trying to tell me but that I hadn’t taken the time or space to hear it that day. A wave of sadness washed over me as I realized that I had put everyone else first that day. I hadn’t prioritized my own needs.

“I am sorry” I said to my body as I came into a deeper presence with my body and felt my body release energy and tension that it was holding. I scooted down onto the floor and laid flat on my back. With every breath I felt my body and absolute gratitude flowed through me as I felt my mind stop trying to get my attention and my focus came fully into my body. 

Over an hour later, I felt the desire to move and realized that I was still lying on the floor. I gently pulled my legs up until my feet were flat on the floor with bent knees. I enjoyed the way that my feet felt as they connected with the floor and realized just how much I needed that time alone with my body.